Video Blog

Raise your hand if you’d like to be more visible — on video or on stage — but feel like you’re just not CONFIDENT enough, ENGAGING enough, or CHARISMATIC enough…

Now keep your hand raised if you’ve ever had an AMAZING trip somewhere, a GREAT dining experience, or saw a movie that you really LOVED and it was EASY (and even FUN) to tell someone else ALL about it…

I’m willing to bet that you STILL have your hand up!

How do I KNOW this?

Because NO ONE has EVER hired me to help them feel more CONFIDENT, more ENGAGING, or more CHARISMATIC when talking about their favorite vacay, or the day their son was born or when they watched a viral video that changed their life.

Why? Because those things ACTIVATE our NATURAL excitement and enthusiasm to share and recreate that experience with others!

This is a HUGE part of how I’m able to be so compelling when I speak and teach – and YOU already have access to those qualities as well!

When YOU are LIT UP about your message, your lens on the world and what you see as possible for those who join in on the movement, then you CAN’T HELP but be EXCITED when you talk about it!

A key skill for those who are COMPELLING speakers is that they have TAPPED INTO and AMPLIFIED what they are MOST LIT UP about (regardless of ego or uncertainty of how it will be received) and are ALLOWING that to flow THROUGH them in SERVICE of others!

AND when you are LIT UP about your message, then what seems NATURAL for THEM becomes NATURAL for YOU!

You can be a “STAR” no matter how “outgoing” or “confident” you are – it only requires that you CHOOSE to come FROM a place of enthusiasm for what you are sharing!

MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: Tap into the most vivid memory you have of your favorite vacation or most proud moment and go film yourself (just for you) talking about that experience with all of the AUTHENTIC enthusiasm you had when you were ACTUALLY IN IT! You may shock yourself at just how accessible that CHARISMATIC part of you is when you are TAPPED IN and TURNED ON!

When I was in Bali recently, I was riding scooters a lot. And let me just say…it’s SCARY AF.

Everything there related to driving—lines on the road, street signs, speed limits, etc.— all seem more like SUGGESTIONS than actual LAWS…

So what ends up happening is that there are all of these scooters and cars going around and EVERYONE is HONKING…

But unlike in the U.S. where people honk their horn as a way of basically saying “F$#@ off,” in BALI people honk the horn just so that you KNOW that they are THERE; so you know they are coming up behind you or around a corner, so that you can make any necessary adjustments for your well-being.

So while there are horns honking like MAD, NOBODY is UPSET!

And it made me realize that there is a FUNDAMENTAL difference between how people in the U.S. use the TOOL of a car horn versus how people in Bali use it, and how the same can be said for how we use the TOOL of our MINDS…

See, just like the horn, at any given moment your mind can either be an ASSET or an A * * HOLE…

You can either use your MIND and THOUGHTS to SCOLD yourself, to BEAT yourself up, and to tell yourself that you’re not doing enough, not smart enough, not made for this, etc. that is essentially you flipping yourself the bird 24/7…

OR (thank GOODNESS there is an alternative to THAT hot mess of a way of living!)…

You can USE your mind as a TOOL that says “Hey, do you notice what’s going on here? Do you see the opportunity for you to question that thought? Do you see how this may not be a question of your WORTHINESS but rather a question of your WILLINGNESS? Do you realize that you may be a bit confused or stuck in your ego right now instead of being of service?”

Your MIND can be USED to intentionally CREATE (instead of DESTROY) your experience of life!

So if you hear the blaring HORN of your MIND at some point today, allow it to be a gentle reminder and a call to re-center instead of a judgment on your character or an assassin of your experience!

I was watching a documentary recently about an iconic photo taken by an astronaut during the Apollo 8 lunar mission. This was the FIRST manned mission to orbit the moon and the photo shows the moon in the foreground and Earth in the distance—a perspective of Earth no one had seen before…

At one point, the astronauts talked about this phenomenon called the OVERVIEW EFFECT, where viewing the Earth from that vantage point instantly has them see just how tiny it is, which in turn has them realize just how insignificant THEY are.

They didn’t feel hopeless or worthless from this realization, but rather they felt LIBERATED in seeing that, “Wow, these things that I worry SO MUCH about, that I feel so much pressure to DO and ACHIEVE, really aren’t THAT significant”.

Which got me thinking of MY “go-to” coaching methodology—to LIGHTEN people up and RELAX them into RELEASING the SIGNIFICANCE they attach to what they are creating.

When we DETACH from the SIGNIFICANCE and the IDENTITY that we assign to DOING or CREATING something, then instead of WASTING our energy WORRYING about what it will mean about us if we “fail”, we can take that creative energy and CHANNEL it into what we actually WANT to CREATE.

Not because it will make us “SIGNIFICANT” or because it will FINALLY satisfy our EGO, but simply because we CAN – so why WOULDN’T we?

Or as I like to say to my clients when they are playing with this RELEASE of SIGNIFICANCE – we can do ‘THE THING’ simply because it’s “Friday”.

So no matter what you are trying to create in your life or business right now, if it feels heavy or stressful, here is what I invite you to do…

1st, ZOOM WAY OUT to see just how TINY whatever it is you are worrying about is in the grand scheme and THEN ask yourself, “How would I approach this PROJECT if I made it 5% LESS about ME and MY Significance?”

Without all that SELF-IMPOSED pressure, you may be surprised at JUST how MOTIVATED you INSTANTLY feel!

If you’ve ever had a general idea for a piece of content but had NO CLUE how to take it from a crumb to a full loaf of bread, then I’ve got a SIMPLE framework to help you FULLY BAKE your idea AND make sure it’s valuable!

1. FIRST, Ask yourself, “WHERE has this occurred in my OWN life?”

People don’t want the “SAGE on the STAGE”; someone who looks like they have it ALL figured out, NEVER gets stressed and who poops diamonds! What they WANT is someone they can ACTUALLY EFFIN’ RELATE to! So start creating the piece from your OWN experiences!

2. THEN, ask yourself, “How is MY experience of life DIFFERENT when I become BETTER at this “thing?”

In step 1, you showed that this isn’t a THEORETICAL post but something you have worked on in your own life. Now it’s time to help your audience see how YOUR life (or biz, or health or relationships, etc.) is BETTER since YOU started practicing what you are getting ready to preach…

3. NEXT, Ask your audience, “Where has this shown up in YOUR life?”

This is SO IMPORTANT! It’s where your audience realizes that YOUR story is THEIRS too! They will start to REALLY connect to what you’re sharing AND see how THEIR life could be positively affected by what you are teaching.

4. THEN, Give them ONE TIP so they can start PRACTICING for themselves!

Everything you’ve done up to this point has lowered people’s resistance so they are more OPEN to your teachings. Now, give them ONE really USEABLE and ACTIONABLE tip to help THEM play with this concept in their lives.

5. FINALLY, Have a “Call To Action” (CTA)

We can NAIL steps 1-4, but if we aren’t inviting people to be a part of the CONVERSATION, they’re less likely to do anything with what they learned! Asking them to commit to a particular action, to share their insights, or comment with their own experience creates more CONNECTION and increases the likelihood they will take ACTION on what you shared!

Save this post and let me know if this was helpful!

When George Clooney started his acting career, he did what MOST actors do — he honed his CRAFT and put himself OUT THERE by going to TONS of auditions…

And, like MOST actors, he wasn’t booking many gigs…

But then he did something that MOST actors DON’T do and would never THINK to do…

Instead of making his “lack of success” mean something about HIM — HIS worthiness, HIS talent, or God forbid his “LUCK”…

He recognized the people hiring him — casting agents, directors, and producers — have incredibly stressful jobs; they have all of this stuff on their plates and EVERY SINGLE TIME an actor walks in the door, they are hoping and praying that THIS will be the one they can FINALLY say “YES” to!

SO he set out to be the “PERFECT” man for the job in every audition — not just perfect for the ROLE, but also the perfect person for them to work with in all of the other elements of making a movie – pre-production, post-production, promoting the movie, and being the ROCK and SUPPORT for the rest of the cast and crew…

Whatever Clooney could do to make all of THAT easier for all of THEM, he set out to find a way to show them that he was committed to doing it – if they would JUST hire him…

There is so much going through a prospective client’s mind when you are talking about working together – they have fear, or anxiety, or a sense of discomfort at the unknowns of working with you (or more accurately of having a major change occur in their life or business)…

Beyond being a GREAT coach (which is just the cost of entry), what will REALLY make you STAND OUT to your prospective clients is if you can also BE the HUMAN that SEES these stressors and then SHOWS them how you will be there as their ROCK and their SUPPORT – no matter what…

That they will be able to BORROW your BELIEF in them until they can develop it for themselves.

The more you can be the best HUMAN for them (and not JUST the best COACH), the more relaxed they will be in making a decision to work with you AND the more open they will be to experiencing transformation!

Ouch…did that sting?

It’s not as bad as you think… just keep reading AND be prepared to save this post!

I remember watching a documentary about a singer/songwriter who had recently crossed over into the mainstream…

BUT something felt OFF to her…

She had this collection of beautiful love songs she had written and wanted to perform but felt like she was stuck making POP HITS instead…

Finally, she brought her SOUL SONGS to her label and said, “Listen, I have these heartfelt songs that I really want to share with the world!” – her producer clapped back with “That’s great but… NOBODY CARES about those kinds of songs”.

WOW! Can you image being told that NOBODY cares about your message; your heart’s work? I yelled at the screen, “EFF that guy! It’s NOT TRUE!”

The reason I KNOW it’s not true is a simple distinction that has changed how I approach my work: There is a HUGE difference between “NOBODY cares” and “NOT EVERYBODY cares”…

If you’re someone with a gift and a message to share, know that not everybody NEEDS to care about your message in order for it to be IMPACTFUL…

Your ONLY job is to speak your TRUTH, to share your BELIEFS, to paint your VISION of the world, AND to do so KNOWING that not EVERYBODY is going to care, but that SOME BODIES absolutely WILL…

And THOSE people are MY people! My #SOULFAM, my advocates, my misfits and my co-creators on this planet forging ahead alongside me on our SHARED mission and movement!

So when you’re creating work that is intended to make a REAL difference, let go of the LIE that NOBODY cares OR that EVERYBODY has to…

Don’t waste your time or creative energy trying to be “FOR EVERYBODY” and instead ONLY focus on the “BODIES” that DO or WILL care! The ones that can (and WANT TO) be TRULY impacted by your work!

Those are the people that will follow you into the pits of hell and to the heights of heaven; they will forgive you for your missteps; they will LOVE you in your low times and CELEBRATE you in your high times!

And if all else fails, keep one of my favorite quotes handy: “You can’t please everyone, you’re not pizza.”

If you’re an online educator, coach, speaker, or transformational leader then you’ve probably heard a TON of people talking about the importance of “BUILDING YOUR TRIBE”.

Entire courses are sold on just this ONE thing, so it’s definitely NO surprise to me that people often ask me “HOW DO I *BUILD* MY TRIBE?”…

So if you’ve ever wondered how to build YOUR tribe, here’s my ONE WORD answer…

DON’T!

Don’t try to BUILD a tribe.

I tried for SO LONG to figure out how to “BUILD” my tribe—how to do things in such a way to POSITION myself so that I’d get a MASSIVE following. And you know what I FINALLY realized?

I don’t NEED to BUILD one…

MY tribe ALREADY exists.

All I needed to do was CALL THEM IN.

Instead of trying to BUILD them, I simply needed to raise my hand and say, “This is what I believe in; these are my intentions; these are the things that are the guiding forces in my life; and if you BELIEVE in those things too, if you AGREE with those things, and if that’s the way YOU live your life or you WANT to live your life, then YOU’RE MY TRIBE”.

Don’t waste your time trying to position yourself to appeal to the people you THINK are your tribe; just RAISE YOUR HAND and start SHARING – from your heart, soul, and enthusiasm – what you BELIEVE, what you STAND FOR, what MATTERS to YOU…

Do that CONSISTENTLY and with a focus on creating REAL value for people in the world, and you’ll call your TRUE TRIBE in.

The people that BELIEVE what YOU believe ALREADY exist. The people that will LOVE and TRUST you exactly as you ARE and that will BELIEVE in your intentions and CARE about your message (because it’s essentially THEIR message as well) already exist.

All you have to do is raise your hand and call them in!

Have you ever hesitated to put yourself out there because it seems like what you are doing has ALREADY been done?

If so, check out this totally cringeworthy moment when I had my ass HANDED to me during an investor pitch…

It was 2011 and while still working my corporate job, I was pitching investors to raise money for my Executive Transportation Start-up…

ALL was going well UNTIL one of them asked me, “So Jason, who are your COMPETITORS?”

That’s when sweet, slightly entitled, and over-eager JG said THE WORST thing you could ever say to an investor: “We HAVE none; there is ZERO competition in our market.”

DOH!!! It sounded SO GOOD in my head, and yet what this investor HEARD was “We are going to use YOUR money to test out an UNKNOWN service and MAYBE you will actually see a DIME of your money again in the distant future!”

Not surprisingly, my “ZERO competition” statement meant we got ZERO dollars that day!

There’s a popular (and kinda morbid) saying that goes, “the pioneers get slaughtered”.

Because oftentimes those who are “FIRST TO MARKET” take all the punches; bloodied, bruised and beaten, they retreat, lick their wounds and try again (OR don’t!)…

Our prospective investors knew that and by us not being aware that there was in fact TONS of competition AND that could be a GOOD thing, it made us look naive…

Earlier this year a company called The Bird showed up in Santa Monica providing motorized scooters that anyone can pick up, rent on demand, ride around and then leave wherever.

Then a few months later, a new company —The Lime— showed up and does the EXACT SAME THING.

The Lime founders didn’t think, “Oh, we can’t do this, it’s been done!”. They saw the SUCCESS that the Bird was having and realized they could ALSO serve the market with their OWN version.

It’s a GREAT THING that you are doing something that’s ALREADY been done. It means there is DEMAND; SOME kind of market validation and once you put YOUR unique perspective, personality, and authenticity on it, you will have created a Competition-PROOF (not necessarily Competition-ABSENT) Business!

Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything you “SHOULD” do, but you’re still not GETTING anywhere (or you’re not getting “THERE” as fast as you’d like to)?

Well there is one thing you may be doing that is SLOWING you down EVEN MORE – and that is…

JUDGING how much progress you are making.

Yep, the NUMBER 1 way to KILL your FORWARD MOTION and MOMENTUM is to THINK (and then attach to the thought) that you’re not experiencing ENOUGH of it.

The moment you JUDGE the speed at which you’re moving, you immediately take away the CREATIVITY and the JOY of being IN action so you can MANAGE your feelings about NOT being in “enough” action.

Recently I was on a flight, sitting in a seat 30,000ft in the air and when I looked out the window, it felt like we were BARELY moving!

But in all actuality, we were RIPPING through the sky at 500 MILES AN HOUR!!!

The SAME is true for when you are taking CONSISTENT action around building your business…

From the inside looking out, it may FEEL like you are CRAWLING, but every day that you take SOME kind of PURPOSEFUL, INTENTIONAL action, it’s like JET FUEL for your long-term growth (personally AND professionally).

Every day that you are of SERVICE to people in the world…

Every day that you EXPERIMENT purposefully WITHOUT an attachment to a particular outcome…

Every day that you CELEBRATE yourself for being IN ACTION and stay in a spirit of PLAY and OPTIMISM…

You are creating a RIPPLE EFFECT of forward motion, impact and setting the foundation for EXPONENTIAL GROWTH – even when you can’t SEE it right away.

So the next time you feel like you’re not moving FAST enough, slow down for 10 seconds and ask yourself, “Am I willing to CONSISTENTLY ‘do the work’, and know that I am likely moving MUCH faster towards my goals than I think I am??

Releasing judgments about your progress will allow you to purposefully PLAY with, be JOYFUL about, and HAVE FUN on this journey of living your life and building your business!

When I first started my coaching business, I was told to do things OUTSIDE my comfort zone (like cold calling, which I had SUCH a STRONG aversion to)…

And it makes sense – there is absolutely a time and place to try new things and push your edges…

For example, if you are a RIGHT-HANDED baseball pitcher looking for GROWTH, I might say “get out of your comfort zone and pitch with your LEFT hand”…

That could have some real benefits for something you could utilize or leverage in the future…

BUT, if the IMMEDIATE goal is to WIN the world series…I would instead say to DOUBLE DOWN on your practice time and focus on making your RIGHT ARM as STRONG as possible!

The same thing applies when starting a business, especially one that involves REALLY CONNECTING with people…

Staying IN your COMFORT ZONE of how you most NATURALLY connect with people will ALWAYS be more sustainable then forcing yourself to do so in a new and scary way…

Back to when I was starting my biz — instead of forcing myself to do things that SCARED me (which drained all of the creative energy I needed in order to show up at my best) I uncovered a more EFFECTIVE SYSTEM for creating CONNECTION and INTIMACY with people that felt SO NATURAL for ME!

And that SYSTEM exists for YOU too – if you are willing to slow down, dive deep, and play with uncovering it!

Now, this is not an excuse to hide or to not take purposeful, aligned, consistent action – it’s a PERMISSION SLIP to let go of doing it the way everyone ELSE says you are supposed to and instead to do it in a way that feels expansive rather than stressful…

If your goal is to create clients and build a COMPETITION-PROOF Business, DOUBLE DOWN on your “COMFORT ZONE” and connect in the ways that feel easy and effortless!

MY “Comfort Zone” for connecting includes sending personalized videos to people via Facebook Messenger…I feel enthusiastic, creative and like my heart can really shine through connecting in that way!

What is ONE WAY that you most effortlessly connect with people personally or professionally; on- or off-line)?