Video Blog

An entrepreneur I met with the other day told me he felt like he was RUNNING OUT OF TIME in growing his coaching business…

He’s ambitious, talented, impatient as hell, and wants to make a difference…(sound familiar? – *** invites you to look in the mirror ***)

I know this feeling well…

It’s a heavy feeling that primarily comes from us comparing our chapter 1 with someone else’s chapter 20…

So I want to share with you a simple exercise I did with him to find out if, in fact, you ARE running out of time…

All you have to do is ask yourself this question…

“HOW LONG DO I PLAN ON DOING ‘THIS THING’?”

Because the TRUTH is you MIGHT be running out of time…

If you are taking an exam and there are 3 minutes left until “pencils down”, you ARE running out of time…

If you get lost in a convo with a friend and your two-hour parking meter is about to expire, you ARE running out of time…

If your milk jug’s “best used by” date was 4 days ago, you are DEFINITELY running out of time!

BUT if you are building something that matters…

If you are creating something that is BIGGER than any single outcome…

If you are committing the next 1, 5, 10, 20 years or more to SOME form of whatever it is you are doing now…

Then TIME is ALL you have…

Because the more messy and imperfect ACTION you are taking, the more time you GET…

The more you USE time (creatively, intentionally) instead of being USED by it (worry, anxiety, procrastination), the more time you are REWARDED with…

When you are in THAT space of purposeful, consistent action (***FLOW***), you shift from LINEAR TIME to a feeling of TIMELESSNESS…

SO…How long do YOU plan on doing whatever it is you are doing now?

If it’s only for the next day, week or month, then you might be running out of time.

But if your answer is, “I don’t see a time when I WON’T be doing SOMETHING like this!”…

Then, put your head down and get back to work (play)!

TIME is like oxygen and, as long as you are USING your “lungs” (and not holding your breath), you’ve got access to all that you could possibly need!

Listen, I am by NO means an expert in health or fitness…I’m still lobbying the government to include bacon as its own food group…

BUT any trainer will tell you that you can’t eat junk all the time…

And THEN try to OVERCOMPENSATE by obsessively working out…

You will never end up on the POSITIVE side of that equation…

Because the FOUNDATION; the BASE upon which we build healthy bodies must be a purposeful focus!

I’ve found that the SAME thing applies to entrepreneurship, marketing and business growth…

You can’t “OUT SPEND” a crappy service or product by throwing a ton of MONEY into MARKETING it…

Sure, having a crazy ad spend may give you a spike in visibility and maybe even some initial sales…

But no amount of PR or publicity or press or popularity will create a SUSTAINABLE business that ACTUALLY makes a difference…

No increase in followers, fans or any other VANITY METRICS that we tend to obsess over will create a LEGACY of impact…

UNLESS you are ALSO doing the work (or PLAY!) on you AND on your service to make it WORLD CLASS first!

Instead of focusing on getting MORE PEOPLE, direct your attention on getting MORE RESULTS for the people who are already in your world…

PRACTICE your craft, GROW your skills, ASTONISH your clients (AND prospective clients), and THEN focus on scaling THAT impact!

Flexing THOSE muscles is what REALLY makes the difference and will create a SUSTAINABLE, PROFITABLE business far easier than trying to use money to cover up for junk!

Imagine for a minute that in a moment of total impulsiveness…

You were watching some tech TV show that was advertising windshield wipers that cost $10k…

That were developed by the most BRILLIANT minds in the world…

A collaboration between the best engineers and designers at SpaceX, MIT, and Apple…

You pull out your credit card (thank goodness you just paid off the balance from the new couch you just bought)…

Head over to the website and BUY A SET of these INSANELY INNOVATIVE wiper blades!

Thank goodness for Amazon Prime, they arrive via drone 7 minutes later and you promptly run outside and install them on your car…

Now think about this for a second…

Given that you just spent the equivalent of 6 months of most people’s rent on these windshield wipers AND now that they are on your car…

Do you hope that the next time you go for a drive, you encounter a BRIGHT SUNNY DAY???

OF COURSE NOT!

Hell, you would probably PRAY for a TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR; the likes of which haven’t been seen since the flood that led to the creation of Noah’s Ark!

Why? Because you KNOW what these wipers are MADE OF and you wanna see JUST how well they perform! It excites you to find out!

The same is true for US! For our own possibilities and capabilities…

When we release this ridiculous belief that life should be easy, that our preferences should always be met, that we may not be built to handle the challenges before us…

We start to see that WE WERE BUILT FOR THIS!

We start PLAYING the game of LIFE and instead of wishing for an uneventful, unremarkable life devoid of obstacles…

We take a step back, look at the INSANELY INNOVATIVE mind and creativity we possess and say, “Let’s see what this puppy can do!”

LOOK FORWARD TO BEING TESTED! YOU were built for this!

Is there something you are excited (or scared) to get started on because you fear that you don’t have what it takes? That maybe you aren’t cut out for it? Or that you might fail?

I’ve heard some version of that from dozens of people over the years that I’ve been coaching and mentoring professionally…

And because I am such a MASTERFUL coach who is focused on people being fully LIT UP about life and creating what they want, I of course…

AGREE WITH THEM!

YES, you read that right! When a client tells me they “DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES” to start or grow their business, be more visible and confident in sharing their message, bring more of their authentic selves into the work they do…

I agree that THEY absolutely do NOT have what it takes…at least not this VERSION of them…

But there 💯% IS a version of them that can!

And this is not about “BECOMING” someone or something they have never been before…

Because what I’m saying is that they have already BEEN that person in some other context or situation in their lives!

They DID have what it took…they DID have confidence…they DID express themselves authentically at SOME point in their lives…

Maybe they got through a difficult educational program or got selected for a highly in-demand job position…maybe they stood up for something they believed in when they weren’t sure they would have support…maybe they sang and danced with all of their heart and soul when they were a kid…

No matter what it is, all of those things are PROOF that the abilities they think are not available to “them” are simply not available to this VERSION of “them”…

My job…my JOY is to help them see how all of those mindsets, skillsets and ways of BEING and DOING are both PORTABLE and TRANSFERABLE…

Not only accessible and useful in those OTHER situations, but able to be picked up and transferred to this NEW challenge or opportunity in front of them!

What do YOU think you aren’t CUT OUT FOR and where can you find the PROOF that “YOU” absolutely are IF you were to tap into the same qualities you used to be successful in the past?

Apps like Tinder and Bumble have figured out something that eluded me for so long.

And that is that something (a person’s profile in the case of the apps) can appear in my life and I can choose in that moment how SERIOUSLY or how CASUALLY I will engage with that profile by simply swiping one way or the other.

What I learned from that is that my stress, overwhelm or feelings of fear are NOT the problem.

In fact, I’ve come to see (whenever I am OPEN to the TRUTH) that it’s never my thoughts that are the problem.

But simply that I have chosen to have a SERIOUS relationship WITH those thoughts.

My experience has proven to me time and time again, that the more CASUAL of a relationship I have with them, the better my experience OF them becomes.

What is one thing you are trying to “OVERCOME” right now?

Maybe its a feeling of sadness for something that didn’t work out the way you wanted it to…

Fear of uncertainty of your future…

Overwhelm with all that you have on your plate…

Self-judgment that you aren’t doing “enough” or that it’s taking too long…

Now, what if instead of trying to overcome or let go of that feeling, you just practiced having a more CASUAL relationship with it?

This isn’t about ignoring it or lying to yourself, either.

It is about relaxing any SERIOUSNESS we are placing on it so that it can EXIST in our present experience without having any significant impact on how we live our lives.

I used to think I hated SELLING…

And then I finally realized, I just hated RUSHING relationships…

When I release the scarcity energy that makes me believe I need to “close a deal” or have the perfect elevator pitch to get someone to “BUY NOW”, I can truly slow down and serve…

I can be interesTED instead of interesTING…

AND I am far more likely to not only form a real connection with the person in front of me but also be far more certain as to whether I may be able to help them…

Think of ONE person you would really love to deepen your connection with (WITHOUT any attachment to “moving anything forward”) and send them some love!

Your PASSION may be your PITFALL…

Wait…what I mean is that your DESIRE to always FEEL PASSIONATE about your work is your PITFALL…

Nope, that’s still not it. What I mean is that your BELIEF that your WORK should bring passion TO you is your PITFALL…

Yeah, that feels right…

If I waited to FEEL PASSIONATE about everything I did IN and ON my business (do you know the difference between those by the way) before I did it, then I would be…

Well, I would be ME the first year that I was STRUGGLING to build my coaching practice…

I had been so brainwashed by the “anti-hustle”, “all flow, all ease, all the time” messages out there, that I believed anything that didn’t feel COMPLETELY natural, that didn’t LIGHT ME UP, and that didn’t make me feel like I was floating in a blissed out, zen-ified, state of flow and euphoria – was something I shouldn’t be doing…

And in response…well, I would just sit there…

Using every justification and rationalization I could to do busy work that felt like productivity (something I now called FAUXductivity; or FAKE productivity) in order to avoid any feelings that my work was…uh…WORK!

What really shifted this for me was realizing that we can take a step back and, from a position of creative Self-Leadership ask ourselves…

“What would it look like if I brought the passion TO the work I’m doing instead of expecting it to be BESTOWED UPON Me BY the work I’m doing?”

The more I have practiced this, the simpler it has become to stay in consistent, purposeful action that isn’t reliant upon magic, motivation or a muse.

TIME FOR A LITTLE ROLE PLAYING

One of the most impactful things I have ever done for myself is creating a “who do I need to be” list.

I now have nearly all of my clients do the same exercise.

When they say they have goals that involve a certain level of success with money, business, health, or relationships, I don’t ask them to create a detailed 5-year plan to make that fantasy into a reality.

Instead, we slow down, and I ask them, “Who would you need to be for those things to happen?”

The BEING must come before the DOING…

For example, on my own list, there is nothing about how much money I will make, how many talks or trainings I deliver, how many books I sell, how many vacations I take, or how much body fat I have.

Instead, it has characteristics of my BEING such as…

Enthusiastic (my #1 core state of BEING that makes everything else “work” better), relaxed, unattached to outcomes, grateful, joyful, courageous and playful.

I know that when I embody those qualities, which are always present, though I don’t always consciously choose them, it exponentially increases the effectiveness of any tasks, plans, projects, or strategies I decide to execute.

What would BE on your list? What are your top 3 states of BEING that you know would have an exponentially positive effect on your DOING?

Focusing SOLELY on “POSSIBILITIES” Can Hold Us Back…

Luckily, RUBBER BANDS hold the secret that can teach us everything we need to know about TRANSFORMATION and GROWTH!

My work is primarily helping coaches to build IMPACTFUL and PROFITABLE practices (Competition-Proof Businesses as I call them) and beyond biz strategies and the mindset to make it FUN, a BIG part of having a successful coaching or online education business…

Is based on the people you serve ACTUALLY experiencing the RESULTS they are looking for from working with you…

It’s very common in coaching to help our clients and prospective clients see the POSSIBILITIES for their lives, their businesses, their health, their relationships…

And when done from a service-based, co-creative, curiosity-based place, can create tons of enthusiasm and excitement in our world…

BUT it can also backfire if we UNCOVER this vision and then start feeling the stress of worrying about how we can possibly CREATE such a seemingly impossible or daunting outcome…

There is a concept called DYNAMIC TENSION that is the solution to the stress that can accompany SEEING such a big possibility (or set of possibilities for ourselves or our clients)…

Dynamic tension in EXERCISE is a method by which you both FLEX THE MUSCLE while SIMULTANEOUSLY moving…you tense a muscle or body part while ALSO moving against the tension…

Imagine stretching a rubber band (with an equally frightening grimace like the one in this photo)…if you continue to keep one side of the rubber band fixed and the other one moving away from it, it will eventually SNAP!

The same happens in our minds when we focus SOLELY on the LONG-TERM vision without also LEANING INTO and MOVING WITH that vision…

Our opportunity here is that for every big, scary, exciting, edgy vision we hold, we spend an equal amount of time moving the side of the rubber band that is in a fixed position even ONE INCH CLOSER to the side of the rubber band on the other hand that represents that vision…

Have fun, stretch yourself, stretch your clients, create a vision for the future, but also remember to be DYNAMIC and move WITH the tension so your BAND doesn’t snap!

THIS was a “HAPPY” day, but we all know they won’t all be…

Because the fact is that no matter how much personal growth and self help we consume…

No matter how masterful we get at practicing Self-Leadership or living a Not-Serious Life or having a gratitude ritual or whatever, the fact is that as a part of the human experience, sometimes it will feel like we just can’t handle or don’t know what to do with what the 🌎 throws our way…

So what are we to do in the inevitable days where an inspirational quote or looking through the notes of the online course we took on happiness aren’t working?

Well there are lots of things – all with the potential of being effective – but today I want to focus on your TRIBE!

Your peeps, your soulfam, your friends (if you wanna be all boring about it 😜)…

We all MUST have someone we can call upon when we are struggling with our thoughts and our current experience of life (and I literally mean someONE, we don’t need 100).

Someone who we can lean on…

When we aren’t feeling strong…

Someone who will be our friend and help us carry on…hmmm someone should really write a song about this 🤔

Release any stories that leaning on others makes you weak or that you will be a burden or that people won’t want to help you.

I held those beliefs as TRUTHS for so long and so when I had a huge challenge and unexpected life situation occur last year where I really needed support, I made myself reach out to those around me, let them know I needed help and that I would no longer believe the thought that I was a burden for doing so…

And how was that received by the beautiful souls (several of whom are in this picture)?

With the most loving, supportive, open arms and hearts that I could ever wish for!

YOU are loved. Your people WANT to support you. They WANT you to be HAPPY.

Don’t deprive THEM of that opportunity when YOU might need it the most 💚

If you are feeling at all sad, alone, confused, or even a bit hopeless, please know that it WILL pass AND there is no shame in “getting by with a little help from your friends”.

…hmm…someone should make a song about THAT too 😇