Video Blog

I often say that a TRULY Competition-Proof business— especially in the coaching, mentoring, online education and speaking space— is 90% YOU (your humanity, your personality, your quirks, your obsessions, your complete weirdness) + 10% your TEACHINGS…

But sometimes when I teach this concept, it FEELS like those who hear it THINK I am saying: “It’s 100% YOU and 0% Your Teachings”…

And this COULDN’T BE FURTHER from the truth…

NOBODY in this business, or ANY other in my opinion, can build a truly VALUABLE company, product or service unless that “10%” is something they are 100% sincere about…

Because even if you NAIL the 90% that is YOU…

You STILL gotta be DAMN GOOD at WHAT you DO!…

And then when you are both CLEAR on your “90%” AND ROCK your 10% by truly SERVING people and helping them experience massive TRANSFORMATION, then you increase the likelihood that someone leaves 💯% excited to KEEP working with you or to tell their friends and colleagues how AMAZING you are…

So your 10%, even though it’s ONLY 10%, is an integral part of the WHOLE if you want to have a business that makes a REAL difference in the world AND is profitable and sustainable…

And to make sure you NEVER forget just how IMPORTANT that last 10% is, bookmark this post and keep this next metaphor handy…

When a surgeon does a heart transplant, the part when they stitch the patient back up after the new heart has been “installed” can’t possibly account for more than 10% of the TOTAL time and activity of the procedure…

And yet, without that LAST 10%, the 💚 transplant can never truly be a success!

So remember, your TEACHINGS may ONLY be 10% of what makes your business COMPETITION-PROOF, but just like making sure to close up the recipient of a new heart on the O.R. table, it’s still a pretty f**king important part of the system!…

What is one way that YOU are staying diligent, sincere, playful and on the path of MASTERY around what you teach and how you coach?

What I have come to realize is that TRULY Competition-Proof businesses PURPOSEFULLY find ways to take things from OUTSIDE their industry and integrate, finesse, and experiment with HOW (not “IF”) those things COULD set them apart!

This is happening across industries every single day!

The medical industry is looking at pricing models of the airline industry…

The airline industry is looking at data mining and record keeping practices in the medical industry…

Ok, those are totally UN-sexy examples, but I think you get my point…

See, when I first started focusing on speaking, I did what every “OhSoDoI” speaker does…

I watched COUNTLESS videos of OTHER major, big-time, “personal growth” speakers and seminar leaders…

Tony Robbins! CHECK

Les Brown! CHECK

Zig Ziglar! CHECK

And what I noticed what that I was trying to take what THEY had already mastered and use it in the same general industry that THEY had already created the de facto standard for!

So what did I do to start shifting into having a Competition-Proof speaking presence…?

Well, I stopped watching big name SPEAKERS and started watching REALLY impactful…COMEDIANS!

I realized that if I REALLY wanted to ENTERTAIN, ENGAGE and EDUCATE – both on stage AND on video – I could learn a TON about storytelling, emotional journeys and crowd captivation from COMEDIANS!

MASTERY on that would position me in a COMPLETELY different way than the speakers who ONLY emulated conventional “SPEAKERS.”

My challenge to you is to take a look at a COMPLETELY different industry than yours (maybe even a past industry you have experience in) and ask yourself:

“What is something THEY do that I can play with integrating into my business? How would that shift the way I position or deliver what I do OR change the perception it has in the marketplace?”

If YOU are GROWTH-MINDED, your business is creating results and you are making some money…

Then you are probably looking at what to learn now in order to take your business to the next level (of impact, reach, revenue, etc…)

AND if you are like me – someone who GEEKS out on ALL of that stuff, then it can be PARALYZING to DECIDE where to focus!

How the hell are you supposed to pick the “RIGHT” coaching or course when the options (and the sexiness OF the options) are constantly trying to grab your attention?

You have enough experience to know that if you want REAL results, you’ll need to immerse yourself in and implement whatever you are learning #NoShelfHelp…

That takes a SINCERE dedication of time and energy, so you can’t spread yourself too thin!

WELL, you can stop stress-eating, Netflix binging and fingernail chewing (all hypotheticals, of course. I’ve never done ANY of that when I was overwhelmed), because I GOT YOU!

The simplest way to decide where to invest PURPOSEFULLY is to AUDIT your business and look for… THE BOTTLENECK!

This is where things tend to back up or break down…where it feels overwhelming, inefficient or complex and will ultimately limit how much you can grow…

EVERY business, especially as it grows, WILL be faced with a BOTTLENECK…

If you are a coach, maybe its how you connect with people, how you create content, or the engagement of your tribe…

Maybe it’s your back-end systems, how your different offers fit into and serve your business (instead of distracting from it), maybe it’s your team (or lack thereof)…

Maybe it’s your sales process, how you onboard new clients, or how you DELIVER your service for maximum impact…

The BOTTLENECK represents the ONE knob that, if optimized, can create MASSIVE growth!

THAT is the place to focus – uncover YOUR Bottleneck and then find a mentor you VIBE with, who really GETS your business AND can help make your particular Bottlenecks go bye-bye!

What is YOUR bottleneck right now?

When we see people who seem WILDLY charismatic, are GREAT writers, IMPACTFUL speakers, CONFIDENT salespeople (or any other “DESIRABLE” quality or skill), we have all heard others say (or said ourselves if we are being honest) that they must be SPECIAL – that they were BORN with the ability, it was genetic or they are just NATURALS at it…

And that’s a comforting story – one that I clung to for more YEARS than I would like to admit – but one that is just blatantly FALSE!

It is far easier to make excuses, beat ourselves up, or just watch the CHOSEN FEW who we think were “born to DO” those things than it is to admit that we were all “born to CHOOSE” those things…

Thinking, saying, or living from the belief that “I CAN’T because…” or “They CAN because…” immediately removes the power of who you can BE(come) in order to protect and secure who you believe you are…

But the truth is, you are nothing!

I know that sounds harsh, but what I mean is that there is nothing permanent or pervasive about your way of being, your personality, your character traits, or your ability to create, inside and out…

You are not any kind of FIXED PERSONA…

You have no limit on the awareness you can develop, the person you can become, and the choices you can make regardless of any personality, performance, or perspectives that may have been a part of your past…

We are all born with an equal ability to be, do, and create anything we can conceive of. The difference is whether we choose to exercise it or not…

While some realize that sooner than others, how long it has taken to “get it” means nothing—thank goodness, since it was about three decades for me; the only thing that matters is what we do with the awareness once we have it…

Once you see this for yourself, which can happen instantly, your world will never be the same. Through awareness, response-ability, and choice, you will experience that you have all of the gifts you need to become a true leader of self, and those gifts don’t expire until you do!

Recently I was walking down the Venice Beach Boardwalk and saw a TON of aspiring rappers handing out free copies of their music…

I remember that SELF-PROMOTION well – back when I was a rapper and focused on getting my music “OUT THERE”, I did the EXACT same thing…

But it wasn’t until I was on THIS side of the transaction that I realized how cold it felt…

It was like wading through an OCEAN of SHARK emcees all being equally assertive with the PUSHING of their music…

Now, since I’m obsessed at seeing how implementing what I teach coaches about building “Competition-Proof Businesses” applies to other industries (we even took a painter in one of our high-end mentorship programs and were THRILLED to see how universal these principles are) I immediately started thinking about how I could make their “PITCH”, less “PITCHY” (no pun intended)…

And then it occurred to me…they weren’t missing the perfect pitch…they were simply missing CONNECTION…

I get it, they only have SECONDS to make an “impression” but trying to MAKE AN IMPRESSION is exactly what caused me to WALK ON BY!

If I were coaching them, I would have made a GAME out of connecting with each person that walked by – finding a way to DRAW them in with DIALOG instead of their current MONOLOGUE strategy…

I would invite them to hold up TWO of their CDs to everyone who walked by (even if they were the same CD) and ask them…

“Are you team DRAKE or team KANYE?”

THAT would have drawn me in! I would have been PROUD to pick my fav (Drake, duh) AND curious to know why they cared…

RIGHT THERE, they’ve got me! We are in a CONVERSATION. My “head-down-trying-to-avoid-yet-another-CD-being-shoved-in-my-face” pattern would be INSTANTLY interrupted…

Then, based on who I chose, they would say, “Well if you love DRAKE, you are gonna LOVE Track 3” and THEN offer me the CD. That would 100% increase the likelihood I would take the CD AND that I would ACTUALLY listen to it!

Look at how you are currently SHARING your “MUSIC” with the world and challenge yourself to find a fun and engaging way to DRAW people IN instead of pushing them AWAY.

I can truly say that every part of my business has been POSITIVELY impacted by becoming more masterful at CRAFTING and TELLING more powerful STORIES!

It helps me to connect with my audience and makes creating valuable content so much easier (because stories help DRAW OUT the value in what you are teaching)…

I get asked all the time: “How can I tell more powerful stories?” – so here are 3 tips to do just that!

1. Focus on RELATABLE over SENSATIONAL

People often think that if they haven’t survived a plane crash or delivered a baby in the back of a speeding NYC Taxi, that they don’t have a story worth telling. That’s total BS! In fact, as SENSATIONAL as those stories may be, they are harder to relate to for most people. If your goal is to build intimacy with your audience, don’t try to impress them. Instead, share REAL and RELATABLE stories and the lessons you learned from those experiences. Your HUMANITY will shine through and people will feel more connected to you.

2. Never WAG YOUR FINGER unless you first RAISE YOUR HAND

One thing I see people do quite often is go from TEACHER into PREACHER. No one likes to have the proverbial FINGER of some “all-knowing guru” wagged in their face accusing them of doing life WRONG! If you want to call out a way of thinking, being or doing things in the world, make sure you always RAISE YOUR HAND FIRST! Never instruct or assess until you first CONFESS! Remember, no one NEEDS to change, but if you can share YOUR before and after, they may be more curious to experiment with that for themselves.

3. It starts as YOURS but ends as THEIRS

Your stories may START off being about you, but ULTIMATELY, you MUST find a way to make YOUR story into THEIR story. Going back to tip number 1, we want people to SEE THEMSELVES in your story. Your experience is the backdrop for the lesson, NOT the focal point for the takeaway. The power will come from you helping them see the IMPLICATIONS and APPLICATION of the lessons from YOUR story in THEIR lives.

Practice these 3 tips and watch the power of your connection INCREASE tremendously!

Imagine if we expected our bodies to operate the way we expect our minds to…

We (and our clients) put tons of pressure on ourselves with heavy thinking that we take seriously…

UNREALISTIC expectations, a lack of celebration, tension around all of the things we “HAVE TO” do…

Toxic relationships, beating ourselves up, doubting ourselves, believing catastrophic STORIES about our “limitations and shortcomings”…

AND THEN…


WE expect our brilliant brains to operate at their absolute best…

We hold a tight grip MENTALLY on our mind all day and then WONDER why it doesn’t serve us the way we think it should…


BUT Imagine if we did that to our bodies…


Can you fathom a surgeon spending the first half of her day CLENCHING her fists as tightly as possible…

Blood and energy DRAINING from her body as it all goes into her fingers…


Knuckles turning WHITE, jaw TENSING up, fingernails DIGGING into her palms…

AND THEN…

Be asked to IMMEDIATELY turn around and perform DELICATE, life-changing surgery that requires precision, focus, relaxation, and purposefulness…

She would FAIL!!!


Her hands would be tingling or shaking, her body would feel TIRED, her focus would be so much on her trembling hands that the patient in front of her – that needs her at her BEST – would be getting her at her WORST…

If you wouldn’t expect your BODY to perform optimally under so much pressure, why would you expect your mind to???

If you want to bring more PROSPERITY into all areas of your life, I invite you to “LOOSEN YOUR GRIP” and allow your energy and creativity to flow where its “best USED” instead of mis-USED

People often ask me, “What’s the NUMBER ONE thing I can do to build a Competition-Proof Business?”

And while I could probably make something up to sound CLEVER, I care more about being HELPFUL than JUST clever (though, I kinda dig clever too 😎)…

So here’s what I ACTUALLY say…

There is NO “ONE” thing to do to build a COMPETITION-PROOF business… hang with me here, this isn’t a bait and switch, the good stuff IS coming…

There ARE powerful mindsets and skillsets to cultivate, BUT no ONE thing you can do to GUARANTEE your success…

BUT, there’s also no ONE thing to do to become a successful BRAIN SURGEON. (BTW, did you know I SINCERELY considered being a doctor when I was in my early 20’s? Maybe that’s why I use so many surgeon analogies)

Yes you have to go to college… AND THEN grad school to get your MD. But that’s JUST the beginning…

Because you ALSO have to complete residency hours…

…AND continuing education…

…AND write papers for peer-reviewed journals…

…AND develop your expertise in surgical procedures…

…AND learn deeper levels of empathy to comfort families who have lost someone…

…AND be a better leader for your team in and out of the O.R….

…AND navigate politics or competing interests in your hospital…

…AND take care of yourself so you can do all of those things consistently…

The SAME goes for the business YOU are building…

So if there was ONE THING I would advise you to do to build a thriving coaching practice, it would be understanding that it’s a series of “AND’s” practiced purposefully and consistently over time!

Integration of these ANDs into your life and biz growth (in YOUR way, using YOUR gifts) is how you build the SYSTEM for a Competition-Proof Biz!

If you want to get the list of my personal “ANDs” for how I’ve built a transformational coaching biz AND the SYSTEM I teach my clients to do the same, you can swipe a FREE copy of my new “How to Build a Competition-Proof Coaching Business” book right here.

Do you ever worry that your teachings aren’t SIGNIFICANT enough?

That people won’t be interested in what you have to say because OTHER people are talking about it TOO or that your message isn’t necessary because people MUST already “know this”?

Then I demand you drop whatever you are doing RIGHT NOW and head STRAIGHT to the PARENTING section of your nearest bookstore…(bookstores are still a thing right?)

Do you SEE all of those books? Do you think for a SECOND that any one of those authors was worried about their message not being SIGNIFICANT enough? That people WOULDN’T care about what they had to say? That somewhere down the line their work would become IRRELEVANT?

Of course NOT! Because people who write parenting books KNOW that parenting is a TIMELESS concept…

As long as there are HUMANS on the EARTH, there will be PARENTS. And as long as there are parents, there will be parents INTERESTED in learning about parenting…

And the SAME is true about PERSONAL GROWTH!

If your work is about teaching people how to THRIVE, how to feel SEEN and HEARD, how to feel LOVED and CONNECTED, to be more HOPEFUL, to create a LIFE, RELATIONSHIP, BUSINESS, or CAREER they LOVE, then what you teach IS TIMELESS…

I know that to be true because what I TEACH…I STILL need REMINDERS on. I still read books and get coached. I still FORGET what I KNOW sometimes and look to resources to guide me back to TRUTH…

So if you ever worry that what you teach might not be SIGNIFICANT enough to other people, I invite you to look in the mirror and ask yourself if it’s significant for YOU…

Instead of asking “is it significant OUT THERE,” ask “is it significant IN HERE 👉🏻💚”

If it’s something YOU need reminders on, it’s TIMELESS. If it’s something you continue to study and practice, it’s TIMELESS. If it’s something you or your clients still struggle with from time-to-time, then IT IS TIMELESS…

And then, please GO SHARE IT, like TODAY, because as long as there are humans on this earth, a TIMELESS message will be 100% SIGNIFICANT and RELEVANT…

If there’s ONE belief that I’ve hinged my entire business on, it’s that you can SERVE YOUR WAY TO WEALTH…

That the way to build a thriving practice is to SERVE the crap out of the people that come into our world so they experience POWERFUL transformation BEFORE they ever give us any money to work with us…

Some people hear me talk about this and think they need to go out and just GIVE… GIVE free sessions, GIVE free advice, GIVE free gifts, etc…

And when they don’t see a return on everything they are GIVING and no one signs up to work with them, they often GIVE up…

The thing I want you to get is this: GIVING is NOT the same as SERVING!

Take for example the “GIFT” in this photo that I received from one of my favorite clothing brands…

Having recently purchased a few pairs of MEN’s skinny jeans online (don’t judge me, they hug my booty perfectly 😂), they were thoughtful enough to send me this…MINI PINK BACKPACK! (Doesn’t it just do WONDERS for my complexion?!)…

Yes, it was FREE. And yes, there is a trend-setting man out there somewhere who would LOVE this tiny, pink backpack. But does it serve ME in any way? Does this tiny, pink backpack that barely fits ONE of my shoes add any VALUE to my life?

If you are starting to see that you may have been GIVING but not SERVING, it’s totally ok!

It’s not your fault – you are well-intentioned with what you are offering BUT sometimes a gift (however well-intentioned it may be) just doesn’t SERVE the people we want to serve…

This is why it’s SO important to purposefully find ways to ACTUALLY make a DIFFERENCE in people’s lives…

…To ensure that our “gifts” and our communications with them TRULY serve them based on what we know about them and what THEY are looking to create or become in the world!

So if you feel like you’ve been GIVING a lot recently, ask yourself, “What can I do to really SERVE one of my prospective clients today?”