Video Blog

If you’re an online educator, coach, speaker, or transformational leader then you’ve probably heard a TON of people talking about the importance of “BUILDING YOUR TRIBE”.

Entire courses are sold on just this ONE thing, so it’s definitely NO surprise to me that people often ask me “HOW DO I *BUILD* MY TRIBE?”…

So if you’ve ever wondered how to build YOUR tribe, here’s my ONE WORD answer…

DON’T!

Don’t try to BUILD a tribe.

I tried for SO LONG to figure out how to “BUILD” my tribe—how to do things in such a way to POSITION myself so that I’d get a MASSIVE following. And you know what I FINALLY realized?

I don’t NEED to BUILD one…

MY tribe ALREADY exists.

All I needed to do was CALL THEM IN.

Instead of trying to BUILD them, I simply needed to raise my hand and say, “This is what I believe in; these are my intentions; these are the things that are the guiding forces in my life; and if you BELIEVE in those things too, if you AGREE with those things, and if that’s the way YOU live your life or you WANT to live your life, then YOU’RE MY TRIBE”.

Don’t waste your time trying to position yourself to appeal to the people you THINK are your tribe; just RAISE YOUR HAND and start SHARING – from your heart, soul, and enthusiasm – what you BELIEVE, what you STAND FOR, what MATTERS to YOU…

Do that CONSISTENTLY and with a focus on creating REAL value for people in the world, and you’ll call your TRUE TRIBE in.

The people that BELIEVE what YOU believe ALREADY exist. The people that will LOVE and TRUST you exactly as you ARE and that will BELIEVE in your intentions and CARE about your message (because it’s essentially THEIR message as well) already exist.

All you have to do is raise your hand and call them in!

Have you ever hesitated to put yourself out there because it seems like what you are doing has ALREADY been done?

If so, check out this totally cringeworthy moment when I had my ass HANDED to me during an investor pitch…

It was 2011 and while still working my corporate job, I was pitching investors to raise money for my Executive Transportation Start-up…

ALL was going well UNTIL one of them asked me, “So Jason, who are your COMPETITORS?”

That’s when sweet, slightly entitled, and over-eager JG said THE WORST thing you could ever say to an investor: “We HAVE none; there is ZERO competition in our market.”

DOH!!! It sounded SO GOOD in my head, and yet what this investor HEARD was “We are going to use YOUR money to test out an UNKNOWN service and MAYBE you will actually see a DIME of your money again in the distant future!”

Not surprisingly, my “ZERO competition” statement meant we got ZERO dollars that day!

There’s a popular (and kinda morbid) saying that goes, “the pioneers get slaughtered”.

Because oftentimes those who are “FIRST TO MARKET” take all the punches; bloodied, bruised and beaten, they retreat, lick their wounds and try again (OR don’t!)…

Our prospective investors knew that and by us not being aware that there was in fact TONS of competition AND that could be a GOOD thing, it made us look naive…

Earlier this year a company called The Bird showed up in Santa Monica providing motorized scooters that anyone can pick up, rent on demand, ride around and then leave wherever.

Then a few months later, a new company —The Lime— showed up and does the EXACT SAME THING.

The Lime founders didn’t think, “Oh, we can’t do this, it’s been done!”. They saw the SUCCESS that the Bird was having and realized they could ALSO serve the market with their OWN version.

It’s a GREAT THING that you are doing something that’s ALREADY been done. It means there is DEMAND; SOME kind of market validation and once you put YOUR unique perspective, personality, and authenticity on it, you will have created a Competition-PROOF (not necessarily Competition-ABSENT) Business!

Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything you “SHOULD” do, but you’re still not GETTING anywhere (or you’re not getting “THERE” as fast as you’d like to)?

Well there is one thing you may be doing that is SLOWING you down EVEN MORE – and that is…

JUDGING how much progress you are making.

Yep, the NUMBER 1 way to KILL your FORWARD MOTION and MOMENTUM is to THINK (and then attach to the thought) that you’re not experiencing ENOUGH of it.

The moment you JUDGE the speed at which you’re moving, you immediately take away the CREATIVITY and the JOY of being IN action so you can MANAGE your feelings about NOT being in “enough” action.

Recently I was on a flight, sitting in a seat 30,000ft in the air and when I looked out the window, it felt like we were BARELY moving!

But in all actuality, we were RIPPING through the sky at 500 MILES AN HOUR!!!

The SAME is true for when you are taking CONSISTENT action around building your business…

From the inside looking out, it may FEEL like you are CRAWLING, but every day that you take SOME kind of PURPOSEFUL, INTENTIONAL action, it’s like JET FUEL for your long-term growth (personally AND professionally).

Every day that you are of SERVICE to people in the world…

Every day that you EXPERIMENT purposefully WITHOUT an attachment to a particular outcome…

Every day that you CELEBRATE yourself for being IN ACTION and stay in a spirit of PLAY and OPTIMISM…

You are creating a RIPPLE EFFECT of forward motion, impact and setting the foundation for EXPONENTIAL GROWTH – even when you can’t SEE it right away.

So the next time you feel like you’re not moving FAST enough, slow down for 10 seconds and ask yourself, “Am I willing to CONSISTENTLY ‘do the work’, and know that I am likely moving MUCH faster towards my goals than I think I am??

Releasing judgments about your progress will allow you to purposefully PLAY with, be JOYFUL about, and HAVE FUN on this journey of living your life and building your business!

When I first started my coaching business, I was told to do things OUTSIDE my comfort zone (like cold calling, which I had SUCH a STRONG aversion to)…

And it makes sense – there is absolutely a time and place to try new things and push your edges…

For example, if you are a RIGHT-HANDED baseball pitcher looking for GROWTH, I might say “get out of your comfort zone and pitch with your LEFT hand”…

That could have some real benefits for something you could utilize or leverage in the future…

BUT, if the IMMEDIATE goal is to WIN the world series…I would instead say to DOUBLE DOWN on your practice time and focus on making your RIGHT ARM as STRONG as possible!

The same thing applies when starting a business, especially one that involves REALLY CONNECTING with people…

Staying IN your COMFORT ZONE of how you most NATURALLY connect with people will ALWAYS be more sustainable then forcing yourself to do so in a new and scary way…

Back to when I was starting my biz — instead of forcing myself to do things that SCARED me (which drained all of the creative energy I needed in order to show up at my best) I uncovered a more EFFECTIVE SYSTEM for creating CONNECTION and INTIMACY with people that felt SO NATURAL for ME!

And that SYSTEM exists for YOU too – if you are willing to slow down, dive deep, and play with uncovering it!

Now, this is not an excuse to hide or to not take purposeful, aligned, consistent action – it’s a PERMISSION SLIP to let go of doing it the way everyone ELSE says you are supposed to and instead to do it in a way that feels expansive rather than stressful…

If your goal is to create clients and build a COMPETITION-PROOF Business, DOUBLE DOWN on your “COMFORT ZONE” and connect in the ways that feel easy and effortless!

MY “Comfort Zone” for connecting includes sending personalized videos to people via Facebook Messenger…I feel enthusiastic, creative and like my heart can really shine through connecting in that way!

What is ONE WAY that you most effortlessly connect with people personally or professionally; on- or off-line)?

I often say that a TRULY Competition-Proof business— especially in the coaching, mentoring, online education and speaking space— is 90% YOU (your humanity, your personality, your quirks, your obsessions, your complete weirdness) + 10% your TEACHINGS…

But sometimes when I teach this concept, it FEELS like those who hear it THINK I am saying: “It’s 100% YOU and 0% Your Teachings”…

And this COULDN’T BE FURTHER from the truth…

NOBODY in this business, or ANY other in my opinion, can build a truly VALUABLE company, product or service unless that “10%” is something they are 100% sincere about…

Because even if you NAIL the 90% that is YOU…

You STILL gotta be DAMN GOOD at WHAT you DO!…

And then when you are both CLEAR on your “90%” AND ROCK your 10% by truly SERVING people and helping them experience massive TRANSFORMATION, then you increase the likelihood that someone leaves 💯% excited to KEEP working with you or to tell their friends and colleagues how AMAZING you are…

So your 10%, even though it’s ONLY 10%, is an integral part of the WHOLE if you want to have a business that makes a REAL difference in the world AND is profitable and sustainable…

And to make sure you NEVER forget just how IMPORTANT that last 10% is, bookmark this post and keep this next metaphor handy…

When a surgeon does a heart transplant, the part when they stitch the patient back up after the new heart has been “installed” can’t possibly account for more than 10% of the TOTAL time and activity of the procedure…

And yet, without that LAST 10%, the 💚 transplant can never truly be a success!

So remember, your TEACHINGS may ONLY be 10% of what makes your business COMPETITION-PROOF, but just like making sure to close up the recipient of a new heart on the O.R. table, it’s still a pretty f**king important part of the system!…

What is one way that YOU are staying diligent, sincere, playful and on the path of MASTERY around what you teach and how you coach?

What I have come to realize is that TRULY Competition-Proof businesses PURPOSEFULLY find ways to take things from OUTSIDE their industry and integrate, finesse, and experiment with HOW (not “IF”) those things COULD set them apart!

This is happening across industries every single day!

The medical industry is looking at pricing models of the airline industry…

The airline industry is looking at data mining and record keeping practices in the medical industry…

Ok, those are totally UN-sexy examples, but I think you get my point…

See, when I first started focusing on speaking, I did what every “OhSoDoI” speaker does…

I watched COUNTLESS videos of OTHER major, big-time, “personal growth” speakers and seminar leaders…

Tony Robbins! CHECK

Les Brown! CHECK

Zig Ziglar! CHECK

And what I noticed what that I was trying to take what THEY had already mastered and use it in the same general industry that THEY had already created the de facto standard for!

So what did I do to start shifting into having a Competition-Proof speaking presence…?

Well, I stopped watching big name SPEAKERS and started watching REALLY impactful…COMEDIANS!

I realized that if I REALLY wanted to ENTERTAIN, ENGAGE and EDUCATE – both on stage AND on video – I could learn a TON about storytelling, emotional journeys and crowd captivation from COMEDIANS!

MASTERY on that would position me in a COMPLETELY different way than the speakers who ONLY emulated conventional “SPEAKERS.”

My challenge to you is to take a look at a COMPLETELY different industry than yours (maybe even a past industry you have experience in) and ask yourself:

“What is something THEY do that I can play with integrating into my business? How would that shift the way I position or deliver what I do OR change the perception it has in the marketplace?”

If YOU are GROWTH-MINDED, your business is creating results and you are making some money…

Then you are probably looking at what to learn now in order to take your business to the next level (of impact, reach, revenue, etc…)

AND if you are like me – someone who GEEKS out on ALL of that stuff, then it can be PARALYZING to DECIDE where to focus!

How the hell are you supposed to pick the “RIGHT” coaching or course when the options (and the sexiness OF the options) are constantly trying to grab your attention?

You have enough experience to know that if you want REAL results, you’ll need to immerse yourself in and implement whatever you are learning #NoShelfHelp…

That takes a SINCERE dedication of time and energy, so you can’t spread yourself too thin!

WELL, you can stop stress-eating, Netflix binging and fingernail chewing (all hypotheticals, of course. I’ve never done ANY of that when I was overwhelmed), because I GOT YOU!

The simplest way to decide where to invest PURPOSEFULLY is to AUDIT your business and look for… THE BOTTLENECK!

This is where things tend to back up or break down…where it feels overwhelming, inefficient or complex and will ultimately limit how much you can grow…

EVERY business, especially as it grows, WILL be faced with a BOTTLENECK…

If you are a coach, maybe its how you connect with people, how you create content, or the engagement of your tribe…

Maybe it’s your back-end systems, how your different offers fit into and serve your business (instead of distracting from it), maybe it’s your team (or lack thereof)…

Maybe it’s your sales process, how you onboard new clients, or how you DELIVER your service for maximum impact…

The BOTTLENECK represents the ONE knob that, if optimized, can create MASSIVE growth!

THAT is the place to focus – uncover YOUR Bottleneck and then find a mentor you VIBE with, who really GETS your business AND can help make your particular Bottlenecks go bye-bye!

What is YOUR bottleneck right now?

When we see people who seem WILDLY charismatic, are GREAT writers, IMPACTFUL speakers, CONFIDENT salespeople (or any other “DESIRABLE” quality or skill), we have all heard others say (or said ourselves if we are being honest) that they must be SPECIAL – that they were BORN with the ability, it was genetic or they are just NATURALS at it…

And that’s a comforting story – one that I clung to for more YEARS than I would like to admit – but one that is just blatantly FALSE!

It is far easier to make excuses, beat ourselves up, or just watch the CHOSEN FEW who we think were “born to DO” those things than it is to admit that we were all “born to CHOOSE” those things…

Thinking, saying, or living from the belief that “I CAN’T because…” or “They CAN because…” immediately removes the power of who you can BE(come) in order to protect and secure who you believe you are…

But the truth is, you are nothing!

I know that sounds harsh, but what I mean is that there is nothing permanent or pervasive about your way of being, your personality, your character traits, or your ability to create, inside and out…

You are not any kind of FIXED PERSONA…

You have no limit on the awareness you can develop, the person you can become, and the choices you can make regardless of any personality, performance, or perspectives that may have been a part of your past…

We are all born with an equal ability to be, do, and create anything we can conceive of. The difference is whether we choose to exercise it or not…

While some realize that sooner than others, how long it has taken to “get it” means nothing—thank goodness, since it was about three decades for me; the only thing that matters is what we do with the awareness once we have it…

Once you see this for yourself, which can happen instantly, your world will never be the same. Through awareness, response-ability, and choice, you will experience that you have all of the gifts you need to become a true leader of self, and those gifts don’t expire until you do!

Recently I was walking down the Venice Beach Boardwalk and saw a TON of aspiring rappers handing out free copies of their music…

I remember that SELF-PROMOTION well – back when I was a rapper and focused on getting my music “OUT THERE”, I did the EXACT same thing…

But it wasn’t until I was on THIS side of the transaction that I realized how cold it felt…

It was like wading through an OCEAN of SHARK emcees all being equally assertive with the PUSHING of their music…

Now, since I’m obsessed at seeing how implementing what I teach coaches about building “Competition-Proof Businesses” applies to other industries (we even took a painter in one of our high-end mentorship programs and were THRILLED to see how universal these principles are) I immediately started thinking about how I could make their “PITCH”, less “PITCHY” (no pun intended)…

And then it occurred to me…they weren’t missing the perfect pitch…they were simply missing CONNECTION…

I get it, they only have SECONDS to make an “impression” but trying to MAKE AN IMPRESSION is exactly what caused me to WALK ON BY!

If I were coaching them, I would have made a GAME out of connecting with each person that walked by – finding a way to DRAW them in with DIALOG instead of their current MONOLOGUE strategy…

I would invite them to hold up TWO of their CDs to everyone who walked by (even if they were the same CD) and ask them…

“Are you team DRAKE or team KANYE?”

THAT would have drawn me in! I would have been PROUD to pick my fav (Drake, duh) AND curious to know why they cared…

RIGHT THERE, they’ve got me! We are in a CONVERSATION. My “head-down-trying-to-avoid-yet-another-CD-being-shoved-in-my-face” pattern would be INSTANTLY interrupted…

Then, based on who I chose, they would say, “Well if you love DRAKE, you are gonna LOVE Track 3” and THEN offer me the CD. That would 100% increase the likelihood I would take the CD AND that I would ACTUALLY listen to it!

Look at how you are currently SHARING your “MUSIC” with the world and challenge yourself to find a fun and engaging way to DRAW people IN instead of pushing them AWAY.

I can truly say that every part of my business has been POSITIVELY impacted by becoming more masterful at CRAFTING and TELLING more powerful STORIES!

It helps me to connect with my audience and makes creating valuable content so much easier (because stories help DRAW OUT the value in what you are teaching)…

I get asked all the time: “How can I tell more powerful stories?” – so here are 3 tips to do just that!

1. Focus on RELATABLE over SENSATIONAL

People often think that if they haven’t survived a plane crash or delivered a baby in the back of a speeding NYC Taxi, that they don’t have a story worth telling. That’s total BS! In fact, as SENSATIONAL as those stories may be, they are harder to relate to for most people. If your goal is to build intimacy with your audience, don’t try to impress them. Instead, share REAL and RELATABLE stories and the lessons you learned from those experiences. Your HUMANITY will shine through and people will feel more connected to you.

2. Never WAG YOUR FINGER unless you first RAISE YOUR HAND

One thing I see people do quite often is go from TEACHER into PREACHER. No one likes to have the proverbial FINGER of some “all-knowing guru” wagged in their face accusing them of doing life WRONG! If you want to call out a way of thinking, being or doing things in the world, make sure you always RAISE YOUR HAND FIRST! Never instruct or assess until you first CONFESS! Remember, no one NEEDS to change, but if you can share YOUR before and after, they may be more curious to experiment with that for themselves.

3. It starts as YOURS but ends as THEIRS

Your stories may START off being about you, but ULTIMATELY, you MUST find a way to make YOUR story into THEIR story. Going back to tip number 1, we want people to SEE THEMSELVES in your story. Your experience is the backdrop for the lesson, NOT the focal point for the takeaway. The power will come from you helping them see the IMPLICATIONS and APPLICATION of the lessons from YOUR story in THEIR lives.

Practice these 3 tips and watch the power of your connection INCREASE tremendously!